On March 22nd, I had a severe gall bladder attack that rendered me helpless and I was hospitalized for thirteen days. This happened while Crystal was in Canada with her mom during chemo. By the grace of God, the care of the community around us, and the quality medical care at the Japanese hospital in Phnom Penh we are well and I am on the mend. Thank you for all for your prayers of healing and protection over us.

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When I turned 40 I had an in-depth physical and the Doctor noted that my ultrasound showed an unusually large number of small gall bladder stones. He didn’t explain what that meant to me and only noted that I might need surgery in the future. Crystal went back to check my physical report after recent events and my gall stones didn’t even make the list of recommendations. I should have looked into it and gotten a second opinion, but I was distracted close to Caleb’s birth and I didn’t follow-up or do any research beyond reading a study that showed that fasting increases the creation of gall stones. I fasted one day a week for years and still fast semi-regularly so that was interesting to me…but it would have been more helpful to look up the symptoms of a gall bladder attack.

When I was younger I was very suspectable to food poisoning – especially during my first years in Cambodia from 2006 to 2008 – but I had become more resilient to food poisoning after my third year in Cambodia (the turning point involved me eating a duck head under pressure from a Khmer house mate and the resulting horrific food poisoning setting my body straight on what I shouldn’t ingest rather than overreacting to everything). So I was a little disheartened when I began to have what I thought was food poisoning again about a year and a half ago. I noticed that the food making me sick was different than before – it was high cholesterol food, not food prepared in less than hygienic conditions – but I didn’t make the connection to my gall bladder. In retrospect, what I thought was food poisoning was actually mild to moderate gall bladder attacks.

I now know that my poor gall bladder had expanded to hold more than a hundred gall stones. It was literally stretched beyond it’s capacity and was losing it’s ability to function. At the time of my surgery my gall bladder wall was 17 millimeters thick, normally the wall is only 4-5 millimeters thick. Crystal saw my gall bladder after removal and said it was many times the size of a normal gall bladder.

In March, Crystal traveled to Canada for a few weeks to be with her mom during chemo and I was doing my best to single parent at home and single rep at MCC. There’s a lot going on for the kids at their new school and for us at MCC so one of my compromises was ordering ‘luxury’ food for us on weekends. On the 22nd I ordered pizza for the kids and I for dinner. That night I woke up near midnight to attend a memorial service for my father at the University where he’d donated his body for medical research and learning. My Father had lived with chronic pain from degenerative disc disease for decades and wanted to help others with the same condition after he died. I had extreme back back as I watched the service and wept during the sharing for my Father. Then I spent several hours throwing up. At the time I didn’t know if it was a physical manifestation of my grief or a bad case of food poisoning. The next morning I felt better – food poisoning usually passes once it’s out of the system – so I had a hearty breakfast to get my energy back up. I soon had a high fever, thick mental fog, diarrhea, and growing pressure in my abdomen. I thought this was something lingering in my system from the night before but now I think the breakfast had further overloaded my gall bladder and that I was experiencing a severe gall bladder attack. That night was one of the most painful in my life, only Dengue and Chikungunya were worse. I spent six hours throwing up despite eating nothing, my back flaring with pain. I couldn’t keep medicine down. I should have called someone to help at this point but my decision making was impaired by the high fever, pain, and mental fog.

Catherine snuggled with Caleb during the night and helped everyone get ready for school the next morning. She also phoned Crystal to let her know I was sick. I took the kids to school in a fog and then went to Mercy Clinic. This is a Christian clinic that MCC has a longstanding relationship with and I doubted my ability to check into one of the larger hospitals with their complicated bureaucracies, where as I knew Mercy Clinic would be able to help me immediately. They got me on an IV to address my extreme dehydration and on fever/pain medication which helped clear up some of the mental fog. As my other symptoms improved, the pressure and pain in my abdomen was growing more extreme. Our wonderful Connecting Peoples Coordinator, Minear, had had emergency surgery for appendicitis the weekend before and in my feverish state I became paranoid that I had appendicitis too.

My blood work came back with high inflammation markers and white blood cell count showing an infection. Then the ultra-sound showed that my gall bladder was massively inflamed and filled beyond capacity with many small stones. There was no blockage – the inflammation had caused my gall bladder to seize up and close, which created the high pressure environment that lead to a broader infection. Mercy Clinic put me on two strong antibiotics – since resistant bacteria are common in Cambodia – and advised that I needed to rest until the medication brought down the inflammation and infection then have surgery when I was healthy. The Doctor warned that having surgery now would have heightened risk of internal bleeding and other complications. I spent the night at Mercy Clinic and while my other symptoms improved my gall bladder continued to swell. By the morning the right side of my abdomen was rock hard with immense pressure and flaming pain to the touch or movement. The Doctor worried that I might need emergency surgery in case my gall bladder ruptured or caused necrosis due to the increased pressure on my other organs. He recommended transferring me to a polyclinic that could do the surgery since Mercy Clinic was not equipped to. This is when Minear, Mok, and Crystal (remotely) helped me transfer to the Sunrise Japan Hospital in Phnom Penh. This is where Minear had had her emergency surgery the week before and we had had good experiences with them in the past. I was in no condition to make decisions – I was barely cognizant – so I was very grateful that people advocated for me. There was no way I could have managed the admission process to the larger hospital without them. I could barely maintain a train of thought.

The Sunrise Japan Hospital soon confirmed Mercy Clinic’s findings and noted that the treatment was correct, but that I should be NPO (no oral intake – food or water) since any ingestion triggers bile secretion which increases the pressure and made my situation worse. Their CAT scan showed that I had over one hundred gall stones, that my gall bladder had swollen immensely and that it was pressing against my upper intestine putting me at risk of blockage and against other organs putting me at risk of necrosis. Fortunately there was no sign of impending rupture but liquid had leaked and surrounded my gall bladder.

I spent the next three days at the Sunrise Japan Hospital with a high fever and in a thick mental fog. Mok stayed with me during the first few nights and cooled me with wet towels to help control my fever. They would only administer fever medication when my fever became extreme out of concern that I might overload my liver and favored other methods, like cooling pads and wet towels, for lower grade fevers. After three days of antibiotics and not eating/drinking my condition slowly began to improve. My blood oxygen dropped several times so I was on oxygen on and off during the time. Whenever my vitals showed a drop. The original plan was still to get me stable and discharge me, with surgery planned 6-7 weeks later after my health had recovered. Many people from MCC stayed with me during the day – Sam from South Sudan, Pou Cheang, Victor, and many others. During the nights Mok and Kee, from Myanmar, stayed with me. I was helpless during this time. I could barely think and was mentally exhausted.

When my inflammation markers and white blood cell count finally went down the Doctors began to restart me on taking water and then food orally. Now that I was stable Crystal moved up her flight home – she hadn’t wanted to travel and be out of communication for the 16 hour flight when she might need to be accessible to make medical decisions for me. My fever returned after I started food and after 48 hours the Doctors decided that I wasn’t healthy enough to discharge. My inflammation, while improved, was increasing again now that I was on food and I couldn’t go 6-7 weeks without eating. They were also concerned about the pressure on my other organs. So I went back on NPO – all medication and nutrients through IV – and prepared for surgery. Crystal arrived the day before my surgery and Mok spent that night with me.

The Sunrise Japan Hospital is overseen by a committee of Japanese Doctors and offers high-quality medical care. The Japanese surgeon visited me before the surgery and informed me clearly of the risks – which were still elevated but greatly improved from the week before. They planned for a 3-4 hour laparoscopic surgery – which is a minimally invasive technique that improves recovery and reduces risk of secondary infections. They planned to suction the gallstones and bile out of my gall bladder, carefully separate it from my other organs, cauterize my blood vessels to prevent internal blooding, and then removed my deflated gall bladder. The surgery ended up taking 8 hours because there were too many gall stones and they had to remove them one by one. I’m incredibly grateful to them for continuing the minimally invasive approach despite it taking so much longer and so much more effort than anticipated.

I spent the night after the surgery in the Intensive Care Unit. My body ached from the prolonged surgery and the double IVs I was on. The IVs had been a blessing when I was dehydrated and had a fever, bringing cool relief, but by now they left my hands aching and cold. My vocal chords were strained from being intubated and I could only speak quietly. I coughed up congealed blood from the mechanical lung that keep me breathing while under sedation.

I spent the next several days NPO again with the drainage from my abdomen carefully monitored. Then I was able to restart oral intake of water and then food. There was no negative reaction this time. My breathing was shallow several times during recovery and I had to be put on oxygen.

On Sunday I was finally discharged 48 hours after I’d started oral food intake. I’m now at home as my body heals and adjusts back to self-regulation after almost two weeks on heavy IV substance. I’m still weak and have very limited stamina, but am doing better day by day.

It’s a strange feeling to have been so helpless when my children were depending on me and I could do nothing for them. I am so grateful for the many people from MCC and from Crystal’s church, International Christian Fellowship, who took over caring for the Catherine, Charlotte, and Caleb when I could not. This continued even after Crystal returned to Cambodia so that she could be with me during the surgery and immediate recovery. I have this feeling – it’s closer to humility than guilt – that I failed my children in a deeply human way but that the fellowship of believers stepped in and cared for them. There was a risk that I could have died, especially before I transferred to a hospital that could handle an emergency surgery, and that evokes some somber feelings of mortality as well. Especially since my thoughts were often on my Father who had passed away suddenly last year. I could have been gone without even seeing my children again. I was entirely reliant on God, the people around me, and my medical team. There was nothing I could do.

I’m grateful to God for preserving my life and health, the community for caring for me and my family, and that I was able to access high-quality medical care. I’m also grateful for all of you who have been praying for us even if you didn’t know about this specific instance until now. Recently there’s been a spiritual deepening of our work here; this is most related to Seek but is evident in other areas as well. It’s hard not to feel that there isn’t some pushback. Over the last month two MCC staff had family members in the hospital with medical emergencies, Minear had emergency surgery for her appendix, there was a car accident involving the MCC vehicle, another MCC staff was in the hospital with an extreme case of the flu, and many MCC staff have been sick. I prayed over the MCC team for protection from evil on Monday after Minear’s emergency surgery and the car accident. Then on the next Saturday this happened to me. I won’t directly attribute cause and effect, but I’m glad for your prayers and that in each case God has preserved each of us. Many of us have been tried the last few weeks but – praise to God – we’ve supported each other and come through with our lives and health intact.

While I was in the hospital a burglar tried to break into our house (the nanny and accountant were spending the night with the kids), Clivia finished a grant application that I’d started that would bring MCC Cambodia and MCC Laos together for a joint project, and Myanmar experienced one of the worst earthquakes in it’s recorded history. In each case people stepped in when I could not and carried us forward.