The last weeks have been sad ones for me. I haven’t been able to talk publicly on why until now. MCC is, like the rest of the world, weathering the economic impact of COVID-19. This has forced MCC to make significant program changes.

It’s important to note that MCC is celebrating its 100th anniversary this year and has weathered every major financial crisis of the modern era. There’s no sense of panic. I’ve been impressed, at every turn, by how responsible and intentional MCC has been at responding to the financial impact of COVID-19.

But it’s still sad. It’s sad to say goodbye to…

• MCC Việt Nam Program: This was where I first saw MCC in the field as a Bluffton University student on my cross cultural. It’s where I visited one of the Ten Thousand Villages for the first time. We were starting a friendship with the MCC Representatives here and hoping to start multinational projects around disability and climate adaption. It makes sense logically, Việt Nam is developing rapidly but it’s still sad to close a 66 year old program with such rich history and relationships.
• MCC South Africa, Lesotho and Eswatini Programs: I don’t have a connection to these programs but it’s still sad to see them close.
• MCC Honduras Office: The MCC Representatives to Honduras are my orientation buddies. We were in orientation as service workers in 2006 and again in 2019 as representatives. Our new Connecting Peoples Coordinator, Clivia, is from Honduras and is mourning the loss. The Honduran projects will continue, managed by the MCC office in Nicaragua. But it’s sad to hear that the representatives are heading back to North America and that MCC will no longer have an office in country.
• MCC China Program: This was a small program connecting Chinese Mennonites with the broader Mennonite community. Crystal’s grandmother Winifred Schlosser Waltner grew up in China, the daughter of missionaries there. It’s sad to think that this connection – as frail as it had become – is ending.
• MCC Tanzania Office: The Tanzanian projects will continue, managed by the MCC office in Kenya.
• MCC Western Europe Representatives: The Area Directors will take over the responsibility for connecting with Anabaptist churches and agencies across eight countries.
• MCC Jordan Office: The Jordan projects will continue, managed by the MCC Palestine and Israel office.
• IVEP Canada: The International Volunteer Exchange Program (IVEP) in Canada has been cancelled for the 2020–2021 year. Two Cambodians had been given placements in Canada this year. This exchange has often been a lifechanging experience for young Cambodians and we mourn with them.
• MCC Furloughs and Layoffs: We don’t know all of them but we hold sadness for the volunteers and staff who are now leaving MCC because of COVID-19.
• Other Agencies: This week OxFam announced that they are closing 18 country programs and laying off almost 1500 personnel. We also mourn for them and other agencies that are making difficult decisions.

I think it’s important for us to hold our grief. Face it. Name it.

The Bible is full of verses crying out to God. Wailing. Bemoaning. The subject of our Sunday service last week was grief and I read the following from the Book of Job.

“How frail is humanity!
How short is life, how full of trouble!
We blossom like a flower and then wither.
Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear.
Must you keep an eye on such a frail creature
and demand an accounting from me?
Who can bring purity out of an impure person?
No one! You have decided the length of our lives.
You know how many months we will live,
and we are not given a minute longer.
So leave us alone and let us rest!
We are like hired hands, so let us finish our work in peace.“Even a tree has more hope!
If it is cut down, it will sprout again
and grow new branches.
Though its roots have grown old in the earth
and its stump decays,
at the scent of water it will bud
and sprout again like a new seedling.“But when people die, their strength is gone.
They breathe their last, and then where are they?
As water evaporates from a lake
and a river disappears in drought,
people are laid to rest and do not rise again.
Until the heavens are no more, they will not wake up
nor be roused from their sleep.“I wish you would hide me in the grave
and forget me there until your anger has passed.
But mark your calendar to think of me again!
Can the dead live again?
If so, this would give me hope through all my years of struggle,
and I would eagerly await the release of death.
You would call and I would answer,
and you would yearn for me, your handiwork.
For then you would guard my steps,
instead of watching for my sins.
My sins would be sealed in a pouch,
and you would cover my guilt.

Job 14: 1-17 New Living Translation (NLT)

We know what Job, crying out from the other side of history, did not. The dead can live again. This gives us hope through all the years of struggle. God guards our steps. We have hope in times of sorrow but, I believe, we should still grieve.

My Nana died of a brain tumor. I was too young to understand but I clearly remember my father shaving his head. She was still alive the first time he shaved his head. That first time he did it because his mom had to shave her hair. For many years after she died, on Valentines Day, he would shave his head again. It took me years to appreciate the ritual mourning. There’s power in it. Release. Healing.